Elroop

I’m thinking about marketing myself as a lifestyle brand. You know. Like Gwyneth Paltrow. From the New York Post:

Gwyneth Paltrow’s inaugural health-and-wellness summit on Saturday kicked off just as you’d expect: well-groomed women wearing yoga pants and expensive handbags hooking themselves up to IVs and oxygen tubes in a parking lot, experiences otherwise associated with the glamour of getting triaged at a disaster site.

This is Paltrow’s peculiar gift — or grift — and it was on full display at “In Goop Health,” her day-long event meant to bring her website’s “most requested and shared wellness content to life.” By last week, all 500 tickets, ranging from $500 to $1,500, had sold out; another event is planned for New York City in January.

What a deal, huh? But I bet for $500 you got a seat in the back of the balcony.

Here’s Ms. Paltrow on Jimmy Kimmel, talking about inserting jade eggs in vaginas, among other things.

Of course, I don’t think I could induce anyone to attend my summit for $500, not even for front row seats. So I’m going to let my fellow Chuqueños attend for $20.

Seminars include: Beer. Dive bars in Juarez. And of course, inserting jade eggs into vaginas.