Journalism Intern Opportunity

Have you ever wanted to be a journalist?

Me neither.

There are different ways to get to be a journalist. You could enroll at a “university” and take “classes” and graduate with a “degree” and a “diploma,” and $100,000 debt. (Notice that $100,000 debt is not in quotes.)

Or you could start by being a journalist.

I’ll point you in the right direction. Some potential public corruption. Some police reports. If we can find some gore I’d like to get it on the front page, but El Paso’s a quiet town.

(In the journalism business, we say “If it bleeds, it leads.” See, you’re already learning stuff.)

Mostly the thing is kicking it out. Content production. (Content production is what they call journalism these days.)

If you don’t have a camera, I’ll lend you one. Maybe I’ll ask for a security deposit. Maybe I’ll run a credit check.

Maybe not.

I don’t know everything, but what I don’t know, I’ll teach you.

And you’ll have to bust ass. I’m not paying you nothing for nothing. The important part of Content Production is Production.

But it beats the hell out of $100,000 debt.

For this job, the right attitude supersedes all other qualifications. The interested applicant should be willing to insert themselves in uncomfortable situations and own them. Honey badgers are strongly encouraged. Because honey badger don’t give a fuck.

Also, the interested applicant should not be afraid of acerbic criticism, because I can be an asshole. Ask anyone.

Or maybe you already have a degree, and you need something for your resume. A stint at El Chuqueño looks a lot better than six months behind the mouse mask at Chuck E. Cheese.

If you can journalize, we want you on board. Applicants with experience, who are, by dint of opportunity, interested in a non-remunerative job should just bring it.

What I’m really looking for is entertainment. Hey, it’s the internet. Would our audience rather read your piece or an article about John Travolta’s hairplugs?

Come on.

When opportunity comes knocking on the door, will you answer it?

Me neither.