Don’t You Just Hate That?

Last Sunday a morning show aired a story about a dating site that paired people based on stuff they mutually hate and I thought that was the most goddammed American thing I’d ever heard of in my life.

At this particular time in history, hate seems to be as American as baseball, ice cream, apple pie and Chevrolet, which every football, frozen yogurt, carrot cake and Ford fan hate. There is no common ground among Americans anymore. Whereas folks might have connected as sports fans or people with a sweet tooth or truck enthusiasts or just Americans, now Americans’ find common ground through their affiliations and that common ground is hate. So Calvin ends up on a Ford truck’s back window peeing on a Chevy logo.

A recent AP article revealed that the American flag was designed to represent hate. The stars represent what the hated see after they’re punched in the forehead, the red represents the color of angry haters’ faces, the blue represents the color of exasperated haters’ faces arguing with those they hate and the white represents…hmmmmm…the white represents big, white, fluffy clouds. Which I hate because they block out the sun and ruin a perfectly clear blue sky. (Despite an exhaustive FBI investigation into the existence of said article, to date there is no evidence that such an article exists. I’m calling GCHQ)

To this casual observer, the protests that have become popular of late are less about spreading awareness as they are about publicly reveling in one’s hate for the enemy: Cops, Trump, Pro-Lifers, Trump, Pro-Choicers, Trump and Trump. And Pepsi.

Some years back a college student looked up the definition of Appropriate and came up with the notion that a person’s (insert whatever makes them feel special) could be appropriated by another person through their appearance or behavior; say, a white dude with dreads listening to reggae, so it was appropriate to beat the appropriated whatever out of him. Or shame him.

This week protesters were upset believing that an advertisement appropriated their protest so they shamed Pepsi on social media. Well, on behalf of Eastwood High School’s classes of ’79 and ’80 who staged a walk-out protesting Mandatory Three Days of SAC after Three Tardies, YOU, current day protesting newbies, appropriated OUR protest, which was THE first protest. Ever. There’s no evidence of that so Interpol will be conducting an investigation.

Left, Right. Gay, Straight. Black, White. Acceptance, Hate. Shaved, Beard. Normal, Weird. We’re a nation divided or that’s what media would have you think, but I look around El Paso and don’t see that. Sure, City Council pisses us off but I think we’re more representative of the nation as a whole than what appears on media that thrive on division. I hope.

Anyways, you newbie protester social media Pepsi shamers, look up Zeitgeist, I think that’s what the commercial was trying to capture. With love. I hate that.