Did you drop the soap?

Did you hear that the County Commissioners voted to give themselves a $26,569 annual pay increase?

“I think it was a tough decision, but I was elected to be in this position to do what is right and to make the county a better place,” [County Commissioner David Stout] said. “I think that raising these salaries will make the county a better place because we can attract talent, professionals that might not ever entertain running for office in the past because of the pay disparity.”

“I mean, look at who we have in office now. El Paso County deserves better than us,” he almost added. “Public service is all about the paycheck. County Commissioners used to be able to pick up a little walking around money from special interests, but since the FBI put the hammer down on Slick Tony Cobos, we can’t sell our votes anymore. At least not for cash,” Commissioner Stout added, with a wink.

County Commissioner Vince Perez also chimed in.

“It was certainly an uncomfortable vote, however, I feel that local public service is becoming out of reach for many citizens who may want to step up and serve the community. Many of our local government representatives are either retired and have supplemental income or are independently wealthy,” Perez wrote in a statement.

“And I think we all know what I’m talking about when I say ‘supplemental income,'” he probably wanted to say as he coughed into the cuff of his silk shirt. “Though I myself have never officially worked in the private sector, I’ve seen on Netflix that it can be very rewarding financially. Not in El Paso, but other cities, where there are jobs. How am I supposed to represent if I can’t strut some bling?”

Commissioner Perez represents much of rural El Paso County, which includes some of the poorest zip codes in the United States.

5 comments

  1. Hell no. That’s not my soap! Even if it were I sure wouldn’t bend down to pick it up in the presence of these “enlightened” beings. Perhaps they were simply thinking that they just need to have a big supply of lard on hand in order to start making the soap? Is that the warning horn going off as the dump-truck prepares to unload tons of lard in Commissioner’s Court?

  2. Yessir! Make El Paso a better place to live… for y’all! One of the slickest moves yet from a group already famous for its lack of interest in what the voters might want, and the taxpayers might be able to afford.

  3. Ok. We’ve reached a critical mass of stupidity. It’s on. I’ll follow your lead. What’s next. I’ll supply the beer and transportation.

  4. Is there anything else to say? I mean, nothing will appease me says the judge as she gets ready perhaps to send off another kid to the ivy leagues. Meanwhile, Vince’s bride to be may just be reworking the menu for the wedding reception. Open bar folks!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.