Consultation With a Doctor: $3.35

What could be more fun than talking about health care?

Our deductible is so high that I don’t even know how much it is. We’re never going to get there without some unforeseen cataclysmic catastrophe. Which means we pay retail for doctor visits, in addition to our monthly premiums.

What if I told you that you could get a general consultation with a doctor for $60? Not bad, huh?

Now what if I told you that $60 wasn’t U.S. dollars, but instead, Mexican pesos?

That’s right. Sixty Mexican pesos. At today’s rate, a little more than three dollars.

Three dollars. $3.43 at 17.5 pesos to the dollar. You can get close to 18 at any casa de cambio on Avenida Juarez.

That’s the deal they’ve got going at Hospital de la Familia, the hospital supported by FEMAP.

There’s one right over the Stanton Street bridge, within walking distance, if you’re ambulatory.

A consultation with a specialist cost $110 (Mexican pesos).

An emergency consultation costs $85. Mammography $180.

An ultrasound runs $145. Vaginal delivery $3,000, and a Caesarean $7,020.

Mexican pesos.

Hell, if those numbers were dollars, that would still be a big savings from your regular medical services purveyor. But take those numbers and divide by eighteen.

That means a vaginal delivery costs $166.67 U.S. That’s like what a box of Kleenex costs in an American hospital.

So what’s the catch? You knew there had to be one, right?

Well, you have to buy a membership. For $300. Mexican pesos. A year. That’s $22 U.S. But that covers up to five people, regardless of age, nationality, or preexisting conditions.

There are similar savings on other medical procedures. Those prices I quoted are just examples.

Aha, you’re saying. $22, and I might never use it. That’s their scam.

Well, you can go to Hospital de la Familia anyway, and pay their regular rates, which are also ridiculously cheap, but not quite as cheap as with the membership. You go up to the cashier, pay for the services you want, and then sit in the appropriate waiting room till your name is called. Most of the doctors there speak a little English, but you might want to bring a translator if you’re one of those second-class El Pasoans who only speak that one language I’m writing in.

Hospital de la Familia wants to encourage Americans to use their services, so there’s more, just like in an infomercial. If you go by the hospital before the end of the month, and tell them you read about it in El Chuqueño, they’ll give you a membership for free. Gratis. Nada. Zilch.

$0.00. In either pesos, or dollars.

For more information, call FEMAP at (915) 235 1098. Ask for information about memberships. Membresías, in Spanish.